Everyone has their own idea of the order in which you should do things in your life. I never gave much thought to it until I got married. I was hardly out of my wedding dress before people started asking me if I was pregnant yet. I was annoyed at first but not for the reason I should have been.
My entire life I’ve been extremely shy, introverted and private with my personal life. I get embarrassed easily, despite trying to let myself laugh things off. I always knew I wanted children but nobody, not even my husband, knew that I desperately wanted to become a mom. There are so many unknowns with pregnancy – the biggest for me was fertility and conception. You never know how long it’s going to take and there’s nothing more awkward than telling your family you’re trying to have a baby.
The endless questioning on when I’ll give my son a brother or sister started shortly after giving birth. I was in the thick of first time parenthood, wasn’t sleeping and my boobs were sore. At that point I wanted to tell everyone to be happy this baby even existed. As more and more people questioned me, I got thinking about why it was such an inappropriate thing to ask, first time parent or not.
6 of the best reasons to avoid asking about future children:
#1 There are so many people who have trouble conceiving. If there’s something that you want so badly but can’t have, do you want people asking about it? Although you may be excited for the couple to have kids, it’s not appropriate to ask when it may or may not happen.
#2 Just because two people decide to get married, doesn’t mean they want kids. I have friends that love my son but never want to have children of their own. It doesn’t make them any better or worse than other people and in most cases it’s none of your business anyways.
#3 Unplanned pregnancies happen. Not everyone has a perfect plan in place before having kids, life is a crazy beautiful adventure. If someone chooses to have a baby they may or may not have planned it, in either case the responsibility is enormous.
#4 Kids are expensive. Between clothes, diapers, car seats and eventually daycare, it costs a small fortune. It’s a huge responsibility to financially provide the basic necessities for your child, add more kids to the mix and you’re looking at higher expenses.
#5 One child is more than enough. Hearing the endless ranting about how my son can’t be an only child, this one really hits home. Although I’m sure every child would love to have a build in, forever playmate, sometimes it’s not what the parents want.
#6 It’s none of your business. It’s hard to keep your curiosity at bay but please try to give people some privacy. When people do happen to get pregnant, you’ll be able to tell.
Bringing a baby into this world is definitely not easy – whether you’re struggling with getting pregnant, adopting, being a new parent or trying to juggle 5 kids and a spouse, you’ve got this.